Argh part 2

I spoke to the mom of the alleged father again this week. He still denies that he is the father, which really pi$$e$ me off. I talked to S again (even though, as I said in an earlier post, I told her that I'd only ask her once), and she told me again that there weren't any other possibilities. You know, I've searched my feelings on this, and it's not that I want anything out of the guy. At one time, S wanted him to suffer, or have to pay, or some such thing (I think maybe those ideas came via S's mom), but she's gotten over that. As I said I don't want anything from him except one thing. I want him to accept responsibility. I don't want him to get away with pretending that it never happened.

Someone is lying. S has lied to me in the past, but I don't think she is this time. I could be wrong. But if S isn't lying then dad is. And I don't want him to get away with it. And only a paternity test will tell.

Oh. My. Gosh.

My kid wrote this and asked if she could email it to me. She prefaced it by saying that it wasn't done:

eyes of grey,tainted past
nothing of mine ever lasts
i keep on telling myself i'm over your lies
when really i'm broken up inside
the feeling of fear walking outside
knowing that you are near by
it takes me back to every time
we said i love you,everytime we lied
we both know we never meant it
what came out of it is this..

life growing,not knowing what to do
everyday is denial i'm scared & confused
i never thought this would happen to me
when i found out,my heart split into two
part of me will always be with my baby too.

denying everything you know is true
after all this time,i forgive you
out of this came tears,hurt & loss
something beautiful will live on
through me these slow fearful months

I didn't know whether to cry, or hold her, or just sit there and stare at the screen...so I stared at the screen. Then I asked her if she was ok. then I told her that she needed to finish it and we'd submit it to someone, somehwere. Any ideas?

P.S. I don't have permission to print this, but I am anyway. She doesn't even know about this blog.

Argh

Had a cup of coffee with the mother of the alleged father of the baby tonight. It was a nice conversation during which I found out that father is denying that the baby is his or even any possibility that it could be his. I mean he's denying to his mother that he and S ever even had sex. Ok. Mother says he could be lying, she doesn't know. I said that S is adamant that he's the father and that we'd require a paternity test if he continues to deny. She understood and said she'd talk to him again.

When I got home, I told S I had a question for her that I was only going to ask once. I asked her if there was any possibility that father is not the father and she said that there was not. I told her that I wouldn't be mad but that it was imperative that I know the truth, and she insists that it couldn't be any other way. She is willing to do the paternity test if need be.

After looking on the internet, we found that pre-natal tests can be harmful to the baby so, of course, S wants to know if there's any other way. I told her we need to talk to the adoption people and see what father says when confronted again before we know anything.

Argh. Just what I need...another hitch in the git-a-long.

A Good Weekend

Not much to report lately. We made it to the 6:30 service at church last night. I'm trying to get S more comfortable and interested in going to church. Since the pregnancy and with her being in the alternative school program, she's been completely cut off from friends and social events. She's been more open to the idea, but with her visiting her mom and such, it still makes it difficult to get her there.

We had purchased the Disney Scene-It game earlier in the day yesterday at Target and played it last night when we got home from church. We had a lot of fun with that. We split two games.

Today I got up (even with the dreaded Spring forward) and went to work at church. When I came home we headed to Disneyland. We stopped at a favorite burger stand that we haven't visited in a while on the way. We basically just walked around for a couple hours and then headed home. It was nice to get back to the Land since we haven't visited in awhile. It was a beautiful sun-shiny day, and although the thermometer read around 90°, it didn't feel anywhere near that hot at the Land.

Tonight we watched some TV together and now I'm ready to get to bed and catch up on the sleep that I missed last night.