You know, if you had asked me at any point in my life up to now if I thought that I'd be 45, single, and making monthly trips to the gynecologist's office, I think my answer would have been "no."
Nevertheless, that is where I find myself. Monthly trips to the gynecologist, surrounded by pregnant women and vaginas. There are diagrams of vaginas, pictures of vaginas, posters of vaginas, models of vaginas...everywhere in that place. It's actually becoming a running joke that everywhere I look there's another vagina. Enough of that.
Yesterday's trip was short and painless. They are very good at getting S in on time and they are very friendly. The doc said that the results of the AFP blood test were negative in all the places it should be and that the risk of Down's syndrome and something else that I forget are one in 10,000 which puts S in the best risk category that they have.
She also said that the ultrasound showed no problems at all with any of the organs, spine, etc. We listened to the strong, fast heartbeat again. Doctor told S that she was taking very good care of the baby and S was quite pleased with that news. Of course, I was too. I mean, if we're going to bring this baby into the world we should give it the very best start that we can, right?
Until next time...
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
Update
The talk with R went ok. Actually, it was not really a talk after all, because S called her and told her the things that were bothering her. R apparently took it fairly well, and when I talked to her on the phone, I suggested that we might let S make her own decisions about when to visit for awhile. I said that I thought that she felt really out of control of her life right now and that giving her back a little control would be a good thing. To her credit, she agreed.
S and R came to the decision that she would visit overnight Saturday and come home Sunday, which she did. Things are back on an even keel for the time being.
S and R came to the decision that she would visit overnight Saturday and come home Sunday, which she did. Things are back on an even keel for the time being.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
No appointments this week...
...but S seems to be having increasing anxiety about the health of the baby. No one has said anything that would give her reason to be concerned, but I suppose it's somewhat normal.
In other news:
(Warning: the following is long and may be TMI for some people)
S doesn't want to go visit her mom, R, this week. R and S have had a strange relationship ever since R and I divorced nearly 15 years ago. R has never been consistent in visiting S over the years. To make a long, long, story short...when R found out that S was pregnant, she seemed to "rise to the occasion." She didn't flame out, and said that she wanted to be involved.
R has been seeing S more recently, but still blows it. For instance, R told S for weeks that R wanted to be there for the ultrasound last week. As late as Sunday evening before the test, she said she was going. We had a conversation about how it would be easier for her to go straight to the appointment, rather than come to our house and follow us, because our place would be way out of the way. R said she'd call for directions.
No call. But I knew I had told her where the appointment was. She didn't show up. S has been quite bothered by that. R told S that she didn't go to the appointment because it was a long drive and it "wasn't that important." NOT THAT IMPORTANT?? To who? S certainly thought it was important. I'm sure S feels like Charlie Brown having the football pulled away by Lucy again.
At any rate, R called earlier this week and wants S to visit again. S told me she doesn't want to. Then R called me and said she set things up with S to visit this week, and that R needs money from me because she "can't afford to feed S if she's going to be there a lot."
I told R that we needed to have a sit-down and discuss this whole thing. I'm sure she thinks it's because I don't want to give her money (which I don't, but I would if S really wanted to stay there a lot.) S told me she doesn't want me to give R money because S is afraid R wouldn't use it for S. I told S that money isn't the issue. If S wants to spend time with R, I'll help with a little $$. S said she doesn't want to do that.
R wants S to see a doctor up near R's place and wants her to stay there right up to the delivery. S has no interest in that happening and frankly, neither do I. Granted, it would make my life easier, but R has never given me any proof that she could handle this thing.
So, we scheduled a sit-down for Friday night, but R called and unilaterally changed it to Saturday because it's supposed to rain, thunder and lightning on Friday and she doesn't want to drive in it.
Yeah, I'm looking forward to this </sarcasm> ...if you're a praying person, I need strength, courage, calm, patience, and the right words.
In other news:
(Warning: the following is long and may be TMI for some people)
S doesn't want to go visit her mom, R, this week. R and S have had a strange relationship ever since R and I divorced nearly 15 years ago. R has never been consistent in visiting S over the years. To make a long, long, story short...when R found out that S was pregnant, she seemed to "rise to the occasion." She didn't flame out, and said that she wanted to be involved.
R has been seeing S more recently, but still blows it. For instance, R told S for weeks that R wanted to be there for the ultrasound last week. As late as Sunday evening before the test, she said she was going. We had a conversation about how it would be easier for her to go straight to the appointment, rather than come to our house and follow us, because our place would be way out of the way. R said she'd call for directions.
No call. But I knew I had told her where the appointment was. She didn't show up. S has been quite bothered by that. R told S that she didn't go to the appointment because it was a long drive and it "wasn't that important." NOT THAT IMPORTANT?? To who? S certainly thought it was important. I'm sure S feels like Charlie Brown having the football pulled away by Lucy again.
At any rate, R called earlier this week and wants S to visit again. S told me she doesn't want to. Then R called me and said she set things up with S to visit this week, and that R needs money from me because she "can't afford to feed S if she's going to be there a lot."
I told R that we needed to have a sit-down and discuss this whole thing. I'm sure she thinks it's because I don't want to give her money (which I don't, but I would if S really wanted to stay there a lot.) S told me she doesn't want me to give R money because S is afraid R wouldn't use it for S. I told S that money isn't the issue. If S wants to spend time with R, I'll help with a little $$. S said she doesn't want to do that.
R wants S to see a doctor up near R's place and wants her to stay there right up to the delivery. S has no interest in that happening and frankly, neither do I. Granted, it would make my life easier, but R has never given me any proof that she could handle this thing.
So, we scheduled a sit-down for Friday night, but R called and unilaterally changed it to Saturday because it's supposed to rain, thunder and lightning on Friday and she doesn't want to drive in it.
Yeah, I'm looking forward to this </sarcasm> ...if you're a praying person, I need strength, courage, calm, patience, and the right words.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Ultrasound, part deux
I mentioned in the last post that the baby appears to be a girl, but what I forgot to mention is that S thought that it looked like a turtle. I guess you'd have to see the pictures to get it, but it was pretty funny.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Ultrasound
S had her ultrasound last evening. They got her in right at her appointed time. The nurse said she'd call me in when she was ready. She also said it would be around a half hour. Nearly an hour later, she finally called me in. The skull was very prominent (more so than in other peoples ultrasounds that I've seen.) She also pointed out the arms. She showed us the heart and let us listen to the little thing pounding hard and fast. Then she moved S onto her side and massaged her belly with the ultrasound thingie, to "get the baby to move." (I still can't get used to that - S is the baby in this family.) Then she was able to point out the legs that were kind of crossed in front. Eventually she was able to show us the buttocks area and the lack of visible boy parts between the legs. So, as of right now, it looks like a girl. S is pleased with that.
This is going to be a long, difficult few months.
This is going to be a long, difficult few months.
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Hormones.
S. was supposed to go to her mom's Wednesday night for a few days. S. had a sore eyelid and I ended up taking her to the Dr. Wednesday night instead. S. talked to mom after the appointment, and asked, while mom is on the phone, if we could meet tonight (Thursday) instead. Mind you, I had already reminded S. that Thursday night is my group night. I said something to the effect of "sure, I'll have to miss my group, but I'll take you." S. gets back on the phone and says mom will pick her up instead. Cool, I think, she owes me at least one anyway.
No further issues regarding plans until this evening.
S. sends me a text about 4:30 saying she's been picked up already and for me to call later. I'm surprised that she's picked up already, but no worries.
Around 5:30, I call S. who almost immediately launches into a full scale demonic possession about how selfish I am for wanting to go to my group, for making her feel bad about wanting to see her mom, and I don't know what the heck all. I tell her I'm hanging up because my anger is rising, I don't want to continue the conversation right now and I hang up.
Around 6:30, I call her back and try to explain rationally (my second or third mistake at this point) that I think she's being unreasonable. Now I get unloaded on because I didn't want to continue the earlier conversation. "You never want to talk about it at the time." I try to explain that, no, I didn't want to talk about it at the time because I was getting f*#%ing pi&&ed, and I needed to cool down. Not good enough. She hangs up.
Ok, that's my memory and the condensed version but it's pretty darn close to the actual course of events.
Really, if I wanted a wife, I'd go get one. I don't need my kid to try to fill the shoes of one. Even is she is pregnant and hormone imbalanced.
Hi, I'm Dad and I'm the father of a pregnant teen. Thanks for letting me share.
No further issues regarding plans until this evening.
S. sends me a text about 4:30 saying she's been picked up already and for me to call later. I'm surprised that she's picked up already, but no worries.
Around 5:30, I call S. who almost immediately launches into a full scale demonic possession about how selfish I am for wanting to go to my group, for making her feel bad about wanting to see her mom, and I don't know what the heck all. I tell her I'm hanging up because my anger is rising, I don't want to continue the conversation right now and I hang up.
Around 6:30, I call her back and try to explain rationally (my second or third mistake at this point) that I think she's being unreasonable. Now I get unloaded on because I didn't want to continue the earlier conversation. "You never want to talk about it at the time." I try to explain that, no, I didn't want to talk about it at the time because I was getting f*#%ing pi&&ed, and I needed to cool down. Not good enough. She hangs up.
Ok, that's my memory and the condensed version but it's pretty darn close to the actual course of events.
Really, if I wanted a wife, I'd go get one. I don't need my kid to try to fill the shoes of one. Even is she is pregnant and hormone imbalanced.
Hi, I'm Dad and I'm the father of a pregnant teen. Thanks for letting me share.
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Counseling Appointment
Left work a little early to take S. to a counseling appointment. This place was recommended by the counselor that S. sees as a result of her IEP (Individualized Education Plan.) I was somewhat surprised to find that the place was quite Christian oriented. I knew from talking to the lady on the phone that they "wouldn't recommend abortion for someone in these circumstances", but it appears that they wouldn't recommend abortion for anyone. That's ok with me, neither would I.
This place turns out to be more crisis intervention than counseling, but the lady we spoke to did tell S. that she'd call her next week and see if S. has any questions after reading the material.
S. really opened up a bit, and at one point I could tell that S. was purposely focusing on the counselor while S. talked. I believed that she was self-conscious over what she was saying with me in room, so I just tried to melt into the chair and keep quiet.
After the meeting was over, she confirmed what I thought, and said that it was ok, she was just pretending I wasn't there.
They gave S. some literature to read, and some names of actual adoption agencies that we can contact for further information.
I got S's permission to call the church tomorrow and find out if they have some kind of adoption counseling program.
This place turns out to be more crisis intervention than counseling, but the lady we spoke to did tell S. that she'd call her next week and see if S. has any questions after reading the material.
S. really opened up a bit, and at one point I could tell that S. was purposely focusing on the counselor while S. talked. I believed that she was self-conscious over what she was saying with me in room, so I just tried to melt into the chair and keep quiet.
After the meeting was over, she confirmed what I thought, and said that it was ok, she was just pretending I wasn't there.
They gave S. some literature to read, and some names of actual adoption agencies that we can contact for further information.
I got S's permission to call the church tomorrow and find out if they have some kind of adoption counseling program.
Monday, February 5, 2007
First post
I've been batting around the idea of this blog ever since I got the news that my 15 year old daughter, S., is with child. That's been a bit over three months ago now, and here I am. I'm not sure what I intend to accomplish with this. Maybe just get some stuff off my chest that I have no other outlet for, starting with:
Got a voice mail today. It was a nurse from the doctor's office saying please call back. I'm not much of a worrier, but the fact that the nurse called a week after S. took the optional AFP blood test caused me a little concern. So, I call the nurse back. She starts off her spiel with the fact that she's a maternity nurse from the section that deals with high risk pregnancies, twins, triplets, etc. I'm about read to freak out at this point. High risk? Twins?? TRIPLETS???
Oh and then, almost like an after-thought, she adds, "and teenage pregnancies." Ok, ok, I can deal with it now. After all, I've come to grips with that part already.
Turns out she's just offering the services of her unit. They have three maternity nurses on staff that are available just a phone call away in case the patient, or in this case her freakin' out dad, have any questions or concerns.
Cool . . . just don't do that "high-risk" thing to me again. I'm an old guy and my heart can't take it.
Stay tuned for the backstory as I realize I've dropped you, my reader, right into the middle of this adventure. . .
Got a voice mail today. It was a nurse from the doctor's office saying please call back. I'm not much of a worrier, but the fact that the nurse called a week after S. took the optional AFP blood test caused me a little concern. So, I call the nurse back. She starts off her spiel with the fact that she's a maternity nurse from the section that deals with high risk pregnancies, twins, triplets, etc. I'm about read to freak out at this point. High risk? Twins?? TRIPLETS???
Oh and then, almost like an after-thought, she adds, "and teenage pregnancies." Ok, ok, I can deal with it now. After all, I've come to grips with that part already.
Turns out she's just offering the services of her unit. They have three maternity nurses on staff that are available just a phone call away in case the patient, or in this case her freakin' out dad, have any questions or concerns.
Cool . . . just don't do that "high-risk" thing to me again. I'm an old guy and my heart can't take it.
Stay tuned for the backstory as I realize I've dropped you, my reader, right into the middle of this adventure. . .
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